


In Sickness and In Health

by Artistic_Gamer



Category: Bleach
Genre: Canon??? don't know her, Character Death(?), Gen, Hitsugaya Toshiro & Matsumoto Rangiku - Freeform, Hitsugaya Toshiro - Freeform, Hopefully not too much but it's definitely noticable, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I can't exclude them???, I don't know we'll see, I don't know what else to put hhhhh, Matsumoto Rangiku - Freeform, OC involvement but they're important to Toshiro's arc so, OOC Toshiro, Time Travel, btw if you spell Toshiro as 'Toushirou' you're wrong sorry I don't make the rules, dw, dw i know its annoying, more tags will be added the more the story progresses, no romance for now, sick!Toshiro, some angst I guess???, they're only really prevalent in one chapter, uhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-15 09:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18070958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artistic_Gamer/pseuds/Artistic_Gamer
Summary: Rangiku was given a chance, a chance to shape him into someone whole, someone happier. But balancing the past and the present was harder than she thought it'd be.She desperately hoped she didn't regret this decision.





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> So! This is my first time posting anything on ao3. I've had this story sitting in my files for a while now collecting dust and I want to put it down somewhere. Feel free to give me some critique, I'm more than happy to listen!!
> 
> Also, yes, I'm aware Shinigami don't remember their past lives in canon but for the sake of the story I'm saying they do ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Enjoy!

Matsumoto Rangiku tiptoed through the streets of the World of Living. Even though the action was pointless - no one living could see her, after all - the extra precaution made her feel better. Slinking in and out of shadows and avoiding crowds is how she made her way to Karakura Hospital, as if afraid his accusing eyes were following her every move.

She wasn’t supposed to be here - well, not  _ technically _ . There was always the excuse that she was there to prevent some mass chaos, or that there was something else small that she just wished differently, but for the actual reason she was here was where problems started. Observation wasn’t the point, the Head Captain had said. The portal Kurotsuchi created was not for personal use, what was in the past should stay there, and anyone caught meandering about would be severely punished. 

Her Captain hadn’t tried to stop her, going as far as turning a blind eye when he caught her sneaking out during the late evening. Rangiku wondered if he wanted her to see this, or if he just didn’t have the heart to refuse her. It was more likely the former than the latter.

Rangiku hopped up onto window sills to reach his assigned room, going up and up until she saw a flash of white hair and had to sink back down again. She peeked in, her heart in her throat.

The first thing she noticed, almost numbly, was all the wires snaking around his form like some kind of reptilian hollow, going in and out of flesh as if it lived off of it. Tubes came from his arms, his nose and wrapped around his head, and Rangiku could see one peeking out of the blankets, where it connected or what it was for she could only guess. They mostly hooked up to the machine at his side. It showed his pulse, his heartbeat a steady, sharp noise, and other numbers only the fourth division could really decipher. The tube connected to his arm ran to a plastic bag, probably filled with antibiotics. No one else was in the room with him, she suddenly realized. He was alone.

The second thing she noticed was his eyes, staring at her in clear bewilderment as she floated in front of his window. They were blue. Not teal, not turquoise, but a clear, deep blue that seemed to shift color like the ocean. Her Captain’s was different. His varied on how green they were, the angrier he became the more his eyes sharpened into that vivid teal everyone knew him for. Rangiku had never seen his eyes without that subtle hint of green. Although, now she supposed she had. Now they seemed to shift on the shade of blue - right now they were bright with confusion, a stunning, saturated dark blue.

Rangiku smiled in what she hoped was a friendly gesture and waved at him. He blinked, still visibly stunned, and pointed to himself, the tubes embedded in his forearm shifting eerily with the movement. She nodded. He said something, muffled through the glass of the window to the point where she couldn’t hear, so she stepped through it with ease. Those eyes followed her, drinking in her every move, her every breath. That certainly hadn’t changed.

“Say that again?” Rangiku asked gently. She couldn’t decipher his age quite yet - everyone seemed smaller, more fragile, in a hospital bed, it didn’t matter who you were - and the last thing she wanted to do was scare him. Even while she feared it, he seemed more curious than intimidated.

“How were you doing that?” he asked again. Then he blinked rather hard. “I didn’t know this medicine could make me hallucinate. Or are you a spirit?”

Now it was Rangiku’s turn to be shocked. She had prepared for him not to know anything and her have to deal with his confusion, but at least this made things easier.

“A soul,” she confirmed. “Do you see them often?”

“All the time. But you look different.”

“How so?”

“You look…” he waved his hand frivolously through the air “...professional.”

“Sharp eyes,” she commended, carefully walking over and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Not a lot of people can see me, let alone discern the difference.”

He looked at the sword strapped to her side. “If you’ve come to send me off, you and I will have some problems.”

Rangiku stifled a giggle behind her hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not here for that.”

“Oh.” His face softened slightly. His eyes became lighter, closer to sky blue. “Then why are you here? I can’t help you.”

“Your hair caught my attention,” she admitted, which wasn’t a lie. “It made me curious.”

His eyes flashed with amusement. She wondered vaguely how he managed to keep his eyes so alive, so expressive, while his face remained blank. Her Captain knew how to do that as well, so that hadn’t changed either. It was a comforting realization.

“You’re not the only one to say that.”

“I can bet. That’s not a natural color for most.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “I suppose not.”

 

Rangiku kept glancing at her stoic Captain as she pretended to do her paperwork, and even though she knew he must’ve noticed her by now and was no doubt growing annoyed, she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away. She had talked a bit more with that brighter, cheerful Toshiro in the past and had learned quite a bit more about him. He was sixteen, for one, older than she would’ve guessed. He was a single child, had both his parents at home and a small circle of friends, something that was proven as the phone on the bedside table went off multiple times throughout their conversation. 

She had tentatively asked what was wrong with him before she left. He had responded with vague gestures and words that she planned to ask Captain Unohana about, otherwise she couldn’t make heads or tails of them.

Toshiro wouldn’t get out of her head. Even now, she couldn’t stop herself from comparing the movements of Toshiro to Captain Hitsugaya. Her Captain’s movements were calm but sure, confidence laced through every stroke of his brush and shift of his hand. Yet there was an underlying coldness to his posture, the mixture of that and his reserved attitude radiated the aura of distance and aloofness. His stare was cool, calculating, just as always. Toshiro’s movements, in comparison, were much more energetic. He moved as if he had more freedom to do so, being more exaggerated whether it came to gesturing with his hands - something her Captain never did but she found incredibly endearing - to his posture, leaning a bit forward as he listened to her talk. Even still, his gaze was just as sharp as her Captain, creating an intimidating combination of razor-sharp focus and unyielding energy. If she were anyone else, no doubt she would’ve been thoroughly cowed by his mannerisms. But the more she talked to him the more he seemed to relax in her presence, his eyes becoming not quite so sharp, his face relaxing into easy smiles instead of cynical ones, and his hand motions switching from semi-large sweeps to lazy, frivolous gestures. He melted, something she wished she knew how to do with her Captain.

Finally her Captain seemed to reach the end of his patience. “What are you staring at?” he asked, not looking up from his paperwork. The question was calm, cool, no hint of accusation in his voice.

“You,” she answered honestly, seeing no reason to lie. “Why did you let me go?”

That got him to pause in his writing, a usually unstoppable force. He looked up at her, his sharp eyes immediately landing on her serious expression and lingering there. His teal eyes fluttered around her, going from first her eyes, then her mouth, her forehead, then back to her eyes. She met his gaze, not backing down. “Do you regret it?” he finally asked.

She didn’t have to hesitate. “No.”

“Then what does it matter?”

What  _ did _ it matter? There were a few reasons she could think of, but she settled on one that wouldn’t leave her. “Did you want me to see?”

Her Captain tapped the wooden end of his brush to the desktop thoughtfully. “Yes and no.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yes, I did, but I also didn’t want you doing what you were just indulging in.” Rangiku looked away then, embarrassed. She had hoped he didn’t entirely know why she’d been staring but she assumed it _was_  a little obvious. 

“Right,” she said, a hint of an apology in her voice.

His face shifted slightly, the crease in his brow relaxing just a bit, but he didn’t say anything else as he looked back down at his papers. Rangiku fought down a smile and returned to her own work with a little sigh.

She was back in the next twenty-four hours, as ashamed as she was to admit it, going back up the window sills and again having to slow down when she passed his room. That was something she’d get better at with time, she figured, then pursed her lips when she realized she subconsciously expected to keep doing this. Rangiku pushed the irritating notion back into her brain. She’d deal with it later.

This time he was actually preoccupied with something, his eyes glued to his phone as it repeatedly vibrated in his hand. She took a minute to assess him. A small smile twitched at his lips, amusement dancing in his eyes as they followed the messages he was receiving. The wires still looped in and out of his skin, although the ones that wrapped around his head and in his nose were gone. The shinigami stepped through the window with ease and patiently waited for him to notice her. It didn’t take long. Within five seconds he glanced up from his phone to give her a surprisingly easy smile.

“You can sit down,” he said, waving to one of the chairs in the room. “Give me a minute.”

She stepped farther into the room and sat herself on the chair directly next to his bedside, her eyes shifting to his phone when it vibrated yet again. “You seem to be popular.”

He snorted, a little bitterly. “Not really, I’m just in a group chat with the friends I mentioned before.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“We’re trying to convince one of my friends not to graffiti the school walls.”

Rangiku rose a brow. “He’s serious?”

“You never know with him.” He typed something into the chat and finally set down his phone, giving her his full attention. His smile widened, turned more cheeky. “Hello again.”

Rangiku smiled. “Still here, huh?”

“Unfortunately.” He sighed, dramatically throwing his upper half against the bed he was lying in. “I’m in and out of this place all the time.”

“Are you going to tell me what you have in English this time or are you going to let me flounder?”

Toshiro hummed, playfully tapping his chin in thought. “I don’t know, seeing someone struggle is one of the many joys of life.”

“Don’t make me beg.” 

He scoffed. “It’s….how do I explain this…?” He paused for a moment. “It’s basically like my heart didn’t develop quite right,” he said, slowly, as if he wasn’t sure of his answer. “So it struggles to work. It’s a condition that needs lots of attention.” She hummed in response. He eyed her warily. “What, no condolences?”

“You’d take it as pity,” she said, “which isn’t what I would be going for.”

He stared at her, his eyes flicking about her face, just like her Captain. “Is this going to be a habit of yours, showing up out of the blue?” 

She paused, stunned. “Do you not want me here?”

“I just want to know what to expect. Any spirit I normally see only hangs around for a day or so before disappearing.”

Her heart stung at the thought of not returning, and telling him so. But she couldn’t say she’d be here every day. “I’ll pop in occasionally,” she settled on saying. “Just don’t expect a routine. I have other things to do you know.”

Toshiro swooned. “Am I not important to you? And after I put down my phone. So hurtful.”

“Are you planning to have visitors soon?” Rangiku asked, ignoring his quips. “I haven’t seen anyone with you.”

His face hardened, almost unnoticeable. “Nah. Not soon anyway.”

“Not even your parents?”

“My dad visited yesterday and my friends visited a week or so ago.”

Rangiku waited. He didn’t say anything else.


	2. Happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rangiku makes an even bigger change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this story will just be uploaded either Sundays or Mondays??? Idk somewhere around there, we'll see
> 
> Fair warning, this is when the OCs are mentioned. I'd leave them out but it's kind of important for Toshiro's character arc in this part so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> A shorter chapter this time, hopefully next update will be a little longer!!

“You realize the more you interfere the more you change?” Her Captain asked her nearly a week later, the next time he caught her sneaking out. She hadn’t realized he was patrolling. His tone still wasn’t accusing. 

“There’s no way this small change will interfere too much.”

“You say that now.”

“Your eyes are bluer today,” she pointed out, compulsively, and they were. Today had been one of his more peaceful days. Not much drama, not much paperwork.

“How much is that your doing and how much of it is mine?”

“It’s hardly my fault.”

“Just…” He sighed. “Be careful. The Head Captain is growing suspicious.”

There was so much packed into that one sentence from the way he said it. _You’re becoming sloppy, I’m worried you’ll get caught. I’ve been acting different and I’m not the only one who's noticed._

_I’m worried about you._

“This will be the last time.”

Her Captain nodded slowly, disbelieving. She didn’t blame him, it sounded fake even to her.

 

When she got there, he wasn’t awake. A breathing mask was strapped around his mouth and nose, more IVs were hooked up to his forearm than before, and the heart monitor beeped an unsteady rhythm. There was no life to his cheeks anymore, his lips tinted blue, and he wasn’t moving. Rangiku’s heart hurt for him. He looked miserable.

She approached his bedside, gently sitting in the chair that she’d been residing in for a while now. Rangiku reached out her hand and held his limp one. It suddenly squeezed, and when she looked up she saw hazy and pain-filled eyes watching her. Maybe he wasn’t asleep after all.

“Hey,” she said. “Not doing so good today, huh?”

He shook his head sadly. His phone buzzed on the side table. His eyes followed the noise but he made no move to get up.

“Do you want it?” He nodded slightly. Rangiku compliantly stood and reached over him to grab his phone, gently handing it to Toshiro. The teen took it as Rangiku sat back down, looking as though he might drop it any second, and turned it on. A smile slowly blossomed on his face as he read the messages.

Rangiku frowned. “How long has this been happening this time? Since last night?” His eyes dragged themselves away from the screen, lacking the usual sharp focus. He shook his head, then tapped the bed twice. “Two days?” she guessed. He tapped it again. “Two hours?” He still shook his head. “Two weeks? But I just visited you last week!”

Toshiro grimaced, holding his chest. “Wasn’t….as bad….got….worse,” he huffed, his voice sounding odd coming from behind the mask. He shifted to get more comfortable, wincing, then slowly removed his hand from his chest to rest back on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, watching his chest struggle to rise and fall in an even rhythm. The heart monitor told of his struggles. Toshiro shrugged. “What are your friends saying?”

That got him to smile again, and he turned his cellphone to her so she could read it.

 **Redhead:** that’s stupid nobody gives a shit about that

 **Basicbitch:** it’s the rules Natsu

 **Basicbitch:** you can’t just ignore them

 **Redhead:** ummm??

 **Redhead:** who says???

 **Tooserious:** The school board dipshit

 **Redhead:** Toshi back me up here!

“You’ve been summoned,” Rangiku said in amusement. Toshiro’s eyes glittered for the first time since she’d arrived, pulling his phone to him and sending something into the chat, then turning it back to her.

 **Snowfluck:** I thought we already had this discussion

 **Snowfluck:** nothing has changed since then

 **Redhead:** but it’d be funny tho???

 **Basicbitch:** Natsu that’s not how this works

 **Redhead:** I am buying spray paint as we speak

 **Basicbitch:** nATSU

Rangiku laughed. “Is that the one you were convincing not to spray paint on the school?” Toshiro nodded, laying his hand with the cellphone on the bed tiredly. A flare of concern burned in her chest and she had to force herself not to hover over him. She learned the hard way that he appreciated it just as much as her Captain, which was not at all. “Do they know about your condition?” Toshiro frowned guiltily, and she knew both Toshiro and her Captain well enough to know what that meant. “You’re kidding,” Rangiku said, exasperation clear in her voice. “They can help you feel better, which isn’t a bad thing to want every once in a while.”  
He put his hand to his chest, applying noticeable pressure. “...Get...worried…”

“It’ll be worse when they figure out you’ve been hiding it from them.”

“If,” he said.

“No, when.” At the glare she received, she corrected herself. “I’m not going to tell them, but they’re _going_ to find out. Friends always do.” Her gaze softened at the uncomfortable look on his face. “Like I said, that isn’t a bad thing to want. I know it seems like you’re vulnerable, but isn’t that the point? How do you know you can trust people when you don’t even give them a chance?”

Toshiro seemed to digest this for a moment before sighing, his breathing mask fogging at the rush of breath. He weakly rose his cellphone up so he could see it and began typing. She looked over his shoulder and watched him start three sentences and immediately erase them before looking helplessly at her. She smiled. “Just broach it casually, don’t make a big deal. Say like, “I’m not doing so great today. Cheer me up?” Something like that.”

He frowned and turned back to his phone.

 **Snowfluck:** I know you asked this already but real talk

 **Snowfluck:** I’m not really okay

Rangiku snorted. “Way to go for subtle.”

Toshiro glared at her as his phone immediately went crazy, as if to say _what did you expect me to do?_

 **Redhead:** I knew it. I had a feeling and I was right.

 **Redhead:** Shit, how bad is it rn?

 **Basicbitch:** Toshiro, why on earth did you lie? We don’t mind helping you!

 **Tooserious:** Yeah, how bad is it?

Toshiro visibly grimaced again, and Rangiku wasn’t quite sure if it was from his chest or his friends’ prodding. Rangiku nudged him encouragingly.  
“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” she said.

 **Snowfluck:** ….pretty bad, I’m gonna be honest.

 **Redhead:** Wait how long has this been happening? We could’ve visited you!

 **Tooserious:** Akki. 

**Basicbitch:** Already ready.

 **Basicbitch:** You need picked up Natsu?

 **Redhead:** Please. My parents got my car for the day.

 **Redhead:** Scale of one to ten?

Rangiku watched him suck in his cheeks as he thought. It was a habit she’d caught her Captain doing more and more lately, and while part of her couldn’t be more excited about the revelation, part of her couldn’t feel more guilty.

 **Snowfluck:** seven, maybe?

 **Tooserious:** Jesus man.

 **Redhead:** We’re on our way okay?

 **Snowfluck:** you guys don’t have to do that, I’m not lonely

 **Basicbitch:** This isn’t pity, Toshi

 **Basicbitch:** Let us be there for you

Rangiku nudged him again, smiling. “I told you.” She laughed when Toshiro waved her off.

 **Snowfluck:** alright just 

**Snowfluck:** be prepared

 **Redhead:** Is it really that bad?

 **Snowfluck:** I have a breathing mask on rn

 **Tooserious:** We’re on our way, just stay calm

 **Redhead:** Yeah, just focus on your breathing

 **Basicbitch:** Guys bringing it up isn’t helping

 **Basicbitch:** where’s your dad? at work?

As Toshiro quickly got wrapped up in the conversation, Rangiku stood up to leave. It was obvious she’d done her job - he was calmer, he had his friends on their way - but when she tried to exit the room, Toshiro grabbed her sleeve, staring up at her with eyes that begged her to stay. She caved almost immediately, settling back down in the chair and telling herself she’d only stay until his friends got there. 

Rangiku was calm for him, thinking out loud as an added distraction to the off-rhythm heartbeat pulsing throughout the room. She didn’t know if she should be grateful or not for his friends’ speedy arrival. An obviously dyed redhead burst into the room first, vivid green eyes locking onto Toshiro’s form in the hospital bed. He paled. Toshiro’ attention traveled from her to the new person, and Rangiku took the distraction for what it was and left, content in the knowledge that Toshiro wouldn’t be suffering in silence anymore. 

 

Her Captain smiled at her today, his eyes looked bluer than ever. Guilt tore through her stomach as shock replaced his mirth, and his clear, bright, _alive_ and _blue_ eyes pinned her to the spot she stood in.

He said nothing. _Why_ did he say nothing?

 

The next time she visited him, weeks later, the teen was actually standing and not lying down for once, his grin so wide he was almost beaming. She grinned herself, partially at the fact that he was still shorter than average - even as old as he was - and partially at his clothes. No hospital gown in sight.

“You’re leaving then?” she asked. He turned to her, eyes sparkling.

“ _Finally_ ,” he breathed, cell phone going crazy in his hand - probably his friends celebrating. “I’m meeting my friends a few blocks away.”

Something stung in Rangiku’s heart. She tried to tell herself it was the after effects from going through the portal so many times. “Congratulations.”

Toshiro beamed at her. “Thanks! I’m so excited, I can’t even tell you.”

“I can only imagine.”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, clearly itching to leave. She rose a brow when he stayed put.

“Will I see you again? When I come back?” he blurted, a little strangled. Rangiku blinked at him in shock, only to have it and the stinging feeling replaced with relief. He wanted to see her. He wanted her around.

“Not immediately,” she said, “but I’ll be back with you.” 

His grin widened even farther. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you.”

“Later squirt.”

He laughed. Rangiku laughed too, his excitement and joy contagious. Toshiro still didn’t leave, however, and his eyes scanned her face.

“Thank you.”

She knew what he meant, and she felt vaguely embarrassed when her throat clogged up.

“Anytime.”

This time when he laughed, he turned on his heel and left, flicking off the lights and shutting the door as he went.

 

In the next following weeks, she kept a close eye on her Captain, looking for any sign that he was unhappy with the changes that were happening to him - he must know that if he asked her to stop she would in a heartbeat. But maybe he didn’t? Maybe he thought she would anyway and that’s why he hadn’t asked yet? The thought hurt her heart, made her feel oddly sick in the stomach. 

She couldn’t let him think that. If he didn’t want her doing this, she wanted to know. _Needed_ to know.

When she asked, he was surprisingly neutral. Almost amused.

“You know I’d tell you,” he replied easily. “What made you think otherwise?”

“Because you _haven’t_ ,” she stressed, finally losing her cool. “Why? Why haven’t you said anything? You can’t be happy with this, there’s no way! I’m _changing_ you, Captain!” 

He watched her, calm, until she finally stopped her rant. His eyes flicked about her face, then he made a lazy gesture with his hand - something he didn’t used to do until her influence. “If I didn’t want this, I’d tell you,” he repeated, voice quiet. “You know that.”

Her Captain was trying to tell her something. She could hear it in his voice. But whatever it was, she wasn’t getting it, and the fact that it was so important frustrated her.


End file.
